Ashling

Time

2005-10-26T11:30:00.000+02:00

Sorry. I can't keep posting. I need time.

Restarting

2005-10-25T09:25:00.000+02:00

I don't know how to start this post, I not even know if I'm taking the right desicion by restarting this blog.

Is there a reason for the lack of entries of the last month: on Thursday 13th I suffered a sexual agression. I was slaped and raped.

It's the first time since that day that I muster myself's courage and I tell that. And I can say that it hurts. A lot.

But I've made a desicion: I don't want to burst into tears anymore, I don't want to be a lost soul anymore... I just want to act and feel as always. I want to go back to my normal life, and this blog was a part of my life.

So here I am, ready to start posting again.

Definitely at home

2005-10-12T17:20:00.000+02:00

What started as a flu ended at the hospital. I'm ok, now, just a bit tired. Tomorrow I'll start posting again :)

Flu

2005-10-05T08:42:00.000+02:00

Sorry for the lack of updates but since I returned home I have a terrible flu... Now I understand why him hates his country's weather :(

Ready

2005-09-30T09:28:00.000+02:00

I'm ready to Dublin:

See you on Monday!

Sex, Him and Dublin.

2005-09-28T13:01:00.000+02:00

At half past nine I was in a cafe, in front of his flat, waiting to see his wife and his daughter leaving the building. Ten minutes later I saw them and I've to say that they seemed happy. I drinked in one go my white coffee, I went to the lavatories to refresh my make up, I paid to the waiter and I headed towards his flat.

The door wasn't opened, but I've got a copy of his keys, so I opened it and I went directly to his bedroom. He was waiting for me: I found him laying on the bed, completely nude and already with an erection.

I droped my hand bag to the floor and I started to undo my dress's buttons, slowly, taking my time. When I finished I left the dress on the chair and I sat on the bed. He started kissing my back, from the lower back to the nape meanwhile he removed my red bra, setting free my tits to start pinching my nipples.

By then my tanga was extemerly wet, but he didn't take it off. He started caressing my clit over the lycra and I was so horny that I came only with his kisses and caresses.

He didn't let me time to recover: he took off my wet tanga and without hesiate he penetrated me. My pussy was more wet than ever, so his dick entered me perfectly, without any difficulty. Niether him nor me last to came and I've to say that it was a great orgasm, even better than the first.

It was early morning, so we could have had sex two or three more times, but we didn't. Instead of having more sex we talked about what we'll do next weekend in Dublin. For the moment we have decided that:

We're going to run at Phoenix park (even if it's raining, you know, in Eire is always raining).

We're not going to make love. (i.e: we're going to have sex)

We'll try to go to the beach (we'll try to go to Skerries if we can borrow his sister's car).

I'm not allowed to have sex with Eamon (why not? why not? snifff) *

We'll go shopping (ie: I'm going to Grafton st. and O'Connel st. and he'll pay all my whims).

He'll switch off his mobile phone and I won't be allowed to have internet connexion (Oh my God!).

He'll carry my lugagge. (it'll be heavy)

I'm not allowed to see Coronation Street (shit! he knows that I'm going to get hooked again).

We'll take coffee from here (in Ireland coffee is like in United States, I mean, water with colouring).

That's all folks!

*I've to ask him if I'm allowed to have sex with them at the same time.

Shit!

2005-09-27T11:11:00.000+02:00

Oh my God! Do you remember that guy? Guess what: he's my classmate! And no, he wasn't drunk and he remembers what happened on Thursday night. Argh!

P.S: Tomorrow I'm going to meet Him.

P.P.S: Yes we're going to have sex.

P.P.P.S: Why can't I live without his dick?

.

My teacher

2005-09-26T12:54:00.000+02:00

My driving license teacher is not only a sex machine, but also has a very good sense of humor:

No name guy

2005-09-23T15:32:00.000+02:00

Friday. 11,35 am. Not in my room. Not in my bed. Who are you?. Half empty bottles of beer on the floor. You're sleeping. I have a terrible headache. Used condoms on the bed side table. Did we used it? Ugh, Hangover is killing me. Where are my clothes? I can't remember your name. Did you tell me? Ok, my clothes are under the bed. Where is my bra? Perhaps I wasn't wearing. I need money for a taxi. You're still sleeping. Here is your wallet. 70 euros and small change. I'm hungry. You have biscuits on the cupboard. I'll take two. And a coffee. In the fridge you have orange juice. Let's going to taste it. Time to go. Bye no-name guy. Sweet dreams.

I can't remember if sex was good last night. I can't remember when I met him (I neither remember where, but I suppose it). I can't remember his name. Well, at least I've had free breakfast and I've won 70 euros.

Next student party? Erasmus welcome party on Thursday 28th.

Birthday present

2005-09-22T00:13:00.000+02:00

Sometimes what we are used to see in some films, read in some books... happens day by day! Ocasionally our fantasies come true and I have to say that yesterday I carried out one of them. :)

Absolutely everyone has fantasized with one of his/her teachers, in my own case I've been fantasizing with my driving license's teacher since I met him. He's on his thirties, married (at least he wears a wedding ring), not very tall (just like me if I'm wearing high heel shoes, so, just like me always), strong and absolutely stroppy (which, I have to say that, really turns me on!).

Since Tuesday we have been flirting blatantly, but I wanted more, not only to flirt, I wanted sex with him, so yesterday -wearing a shirt with a plunging neckline, a pair of tight jeans, and no underwear- I went to the driving school. We were alone on the class (we're usually alone, normally, people take classes on the afternon) and I sat in front of him. Obviously he wasn't looking at my eyes:

-If you don't stop looking at my frontal airbags we'll have to do something with your handbrake.
-Show me what have you learned to do with handbrakes.

I climbed onto his table and we made fast wild sex. Without preliminaries, without caresses. Just sex. Animal sex. Sex. We came together after ten minutes of strong and deep penetrations. My orgasm were noisy, out of control. Fabulous. Then I kissed him, I got dressed and I said goodbye. It was the best class of my life.

And then I recieved the best birthday present of the day:

Soon I'm going to be here again:

I was reading a book on the train on the road to the faculty when, all of a sudden, I heard a male voice on my back saying Dia daoibh. Undeniablely it was him. I turned over and I found his green eyes looking at me:

-Oh, my God, what the hell are you doing here today? And why are you greeting in Irish?
-I'm greeting in Irish because you should practise if you want to spend next 1st and 2nd October in Dublin... with me.
-You are kidding, aren't you?
-D'ya think these Aer Lingus's tickets are fakes?
-Christ almighty! Come on dear, we've just splited up, I've just started my classes again, I've met new people... you must be joking.
-I'm not. What do you take me for? Today it's your birthday... It's just a... present.

I know that I should have declined his invitation, I know that if we go together we'll have sex again, I know that he is in love with me (and I'm not), I know that this is the worst desicion that I could have done, I know that I'll be regreting about this all my life, yes, I know... but it's Dublin, I mean MY Dublin.

I'm going to get drunked in Temple Bar again, I'm going to go shopping at Lush and at Marks and Spencer, I'm going to buy lots and lots of books in Eason, I'm going to go for a walk (good euphemism to say "I'm going to have sex") at Phoenix park again, I'm going to drink Guiness and to eat salt'n'vinegar's Taytos... For goodness's sake! I'm going to DUBLIN!

P.S: No,we haven't had sex again (yet).

Older!

2005-09-21T00:17:00.000+02:00

Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday to Ashling.
Happy Birthday to me!

:)

Good start

2005-09-20T10:32:00.000+02:00

Yesterday I "started" the course again (I mean, I'm not in holidays anymore :( ) and I can say that, mainly, it has been a great start.

My University is not in the city center, in fact not either is in the city, is what we call a "university campus", that means that is in the middle of anywhere. In spite of that fact, I like my Campus because not only you mix with your degree mates but also with students of other degrees. That was exactly what happened to me yesterday: I get mixed with a law student.

I have to say that our faculty's café is one of the most used by all the students (that happens, mainly because the beer is cheaper and is always full of pretty girls like me :) ), so you never know if the guy drinking caffee in front of you is a journalism student or, on the contrary, he's studing veterinary science.

Yesterday I was resting there, drinking a beer (ok, not only one) when a guy approached me:
-Hi, are you alone? can I sit with you... you see, there are no many empty tables.
-you're welcome.

We started chatting about our degrees, our holidays... and, as always, we ended talking about sex. The day was shinny and the café was full of people, so we decided to go to the grass outside with some beers to continue our chat.

We ended a almost pissed, laughing, rolling over the grass, and pawing each other. We didn't do anything too "dirty" but I had a great time.

That's a good start, isn't it?

Agh!

2005-09-19T22:48:00.000+02:00

-Excuse me, are you...
-Yes I am his daughter.
-How lovely, so you are here to be like him!
-¿¡!?

Bloody Sunday

2005-09-18T17:57:00.000+02:00

Updated!

I'm here again and I have to do lots and lots of things:

Unpack my suitcase. UNPACKED
Prepare myself -psychologically- for tomorrow (first class day).
Answer lots of mails (why can't they live without me?). ANSWERED
Delete all his messages from my voicemail. DELETED
Decide when / where / with who I want to celebrate my birthday party.
Decide if tomorrow I'm going to wear jeans or skirt (that's important, ok?).
Shave my thing. SHAVED
Study for the driving test. STUDIED (more or less)
Meet a friend for a quick drink. MET

Weekend

2005-09-16T14:11:00.000+02:00

I'm going to spend my weekend here:

So no posts until Monday :)

A tout à l'heure!

Shopping again and again

2005-09-15T12:45:00.000+02:00

Today I've met a good friend of mine. He has just splited up with his boyfriend so, as you can imagine, he's a bit depressed. To cheer for him I've took him to a café (both of us -especially me- love coffee), we've been talking for two hours and a half (well, to be sincere, we haven't talked a lot, he has spent the whole time complaining about how hard is the life -yes, he is so dramatic- and I've confined myself to agree with him -what else could have I done?-) and then we've gone shopping.

I need to start going class again, because, if not, I'm going to spend all my money in clothes, shoes, and accessories (earrings, bags, make up...). The fact is that I've got too much free time and I'm spending it by going shopping (before, I had him, so I was spending my time doing other things) I've changed having sex by going shopping... how sad is this?

And what's the worst of all this? That is only 12,40 pm and I've got the whole afternoon to go shopping again (for God's sake, am I a shopping addict?).

At least I'm happy again. My post-split-up-bad/sad-mood has been gone away (yes!) :)

P.S: The photograph shows my last purchase :)

Shopping

2005-09-14T17:51:00.000+02:00

What does a woman when is depressed? Buy high heel shoes:

They're lovely :)

Did

2005-09-14T00:06:00.000+02:00

At ten past two he was already at my door. I opened it, kissed him and said: "This is the last, right?". He nodded, so we went directly to my bedroom. I took my clothes off (I wasn't wearing underwear) and he did the same. I approached my mouth to his erect dick but he stopped me and said "And you're piercing? you're not allowed to..." I kissed his lips and I replied "Shhht, this is our last screw, so let's doing well, right?".

I started by kissing and licking around his dick, then I placed some shy kisses on his testicles, and then I used my tongue to tickle him around the glans (especially on his frenulum, which is what he most likes). By then his erection was powerfull and his breath went stronger. I was doing my best, so he didn't take long to came. I have to say that I'm not one of these women who enjoys swallowing her semen's partener (and he knows that), so he said "Ash, I'm going to come". Nevertheless I contiued estimulating him. That was our last fellatio, so it has to be unforgettable. After swallowing his semen I continuated stimulating him with my tongue and my hand, because I know that it's then when the dick becomes more sensitive.

I got up off my knees, I gave him a french kiss and I put the cd-player on. Champagne supernova by Oasis. He bursted into tears. It was the song that he puted for me when I lost the virginity with him. I hugged him and I whispered "sorry, dear, but, you know, this is going nowhere".

Then we made love. Not, we made sex. He entered me, carefully, tenderlly, like he did years ago. We were looking each other: I was lost into his green eyes and he was lost into my blue ones. Perhaps it wasn't the best screw I have done in my life, but it was, special, different, I don't know how to explain it.

We came together, as nearly allways, and he hugged me. Few seconds later he opened his mouth to say something but I anticipated to him: "Yes you can". He, surprised, replied "I can what?". Then I said "Sleep with your arms around me for the last time, that was what you were thinking, weren't you?". He smiled and put his arms around me. I knew him more than he thinks.

We slept together about one hour and a half. We got dressed, he gave me a french kiss and whispered me "Taim i' ngra leat". After that he left home and I realised that I've made the right thing.

I'm niether sad nor happy. I'm just ok.

Dopamine, sex and nails

2005-09-13T00:46:00.000+02:00

Updated: I've just phoned him and we've met at 14,15. It's decided, I am going to split up with him.

He thought we had felt in love with each other again. We're not in love. Let's be realistic, come on, love does not exist. I mean this irrational feeling that we (he) are (is) feeling it's just caused by oxytocin, right? Moreover if we're feeling good with each other it's just because dopamine rushes through our brains and norepinephrine is stimulating our adrenaline's production. It's this easy.

And guess what? he ought know that. The one who studied chemistry was him not me. Definitely married man lose faculties, or perhaps it's just that man and think are two words that can't be mentioned in the same sentence.

I told him -by phone- this scientific explanation about what we were feeling, so we arranged an urgent meeting. That means that at noon he was already at (my) home.

When I opened the door the first thing I said was "Dear, I can explain you again and again why we're not in love, but we have just an hour and we can make sex instead. What do you want?". He didn't say a thing but his hand had been carefully placed on my buttom, so it was clear that he prefered sex than talk (is there any men on earth than between having sex and talk about dopamine choose talk about bloody dopamine?).

We had sex, yes, but it wasn't great. It's difficult for me to achieve an orgasm if I'm thinking that It's time to have an appointment to the hairdresser's to have my nails done. Thank God he didn't noticed anything (at least I think so).

He's the best shagger on earth but... could I be getting tired of him? What the hell is happening to me? Last week I was crazy to have sex with him and now while we are doing it I'm thinking about my nails...

Mental note: Damn, Ash, He thinks that you've felt in love with him again and you're thinking about leave him.

I hate Mondays

2005-09-12T09:28:00.000+02:00

E-mails exchange. Ten minutes ago:

From Him to Ashling:

I'm on the office. Turn me on. Now.
xxx

From Ashling to Him:
You're a bastard. Damn, you're acting like if I was only a sexual object.

From Him to Ashling:
What?!? When all this "thing" started YOU said that "this" was ONLY sex (and remember, I wanted something ELSE). We did what YOU wanted. Come on Ash, I don't know what the hell you want! express yourself. What's the matter with you?
xxx

From Ashling to Him:
I don't know!

From Him to Ashling:
Shit! you're only a spoilt girl.

From Ashling to Him:
Am I? well, forget me. Leave me. Go away!!!

From Him to Ashling:
Ash, you know that I can't! I CAN'T forget you because you're ALL for me. That was what you wanted to hear?

From Him to Ashling:
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Bad mornig at work.
xxx

From Him to Ashling:
He-llo, I said sorry. Shit! You're as spiteful as always.
xxx

From Him to Ashling:
CHILDISH.

What's the matter with me? What's the matter with Him? What's happening? Argh! I hate Mondays!

:(

Saturday night

2005-09-11T14:11:00.000+02:00

Yesterday night I went out on the town with the buddies to have a post-vacacional ladies gossip dinner, you know, that kind of dinner where everybody tell her last summer affair with a passionate Italian -well, that's my own case- or with an experienced Norwegian.

I didn't drink or eat anything (that's the problem of being vegetarian in a carnivorous world) and moreover I didn't take up with anybody because my mouth should avoid contact with other's people fluid.

It's the first time in ages that I have not a hangover on Sunday... and, trust me, Sunday without hangover is like... like... like Sunday without hangover. :(

His flat

2005-09-10T10:46:00.000+02:00

At six o'clock -his punctuality still amazes me- he was already waiting for me on the street. Without delay I caught some condoms, my bag and a little cardigan (it's getting cold here) and I entered to his car. I was certain that neither in my flat nor in his we could have sex, so I thought we were going to an isolated place with the car like years ago. Nevertheless I asked him where were we going and, to my surprise, his answer was "Of course we're going to my flat" "To your flat? What?! and your daughter? your wife?" I said panicked. "Ash, please don't worry. Trust me, they're not there". Well, I calmed down (he's a bastard but I trust him) and we arrived to the garage.

We took the lift, he had his green eyes fixed on my bust so I said -with a big smile on my face- "You can touch, lick or pinch them. They don't bit". So, as you can imagine, I arrived to his flat without top and I have to say that I wasn't wearing underwear.

He picked me up in his arms and took me to his bedroom. We were laying on his double bed, staring each other when, all of a sudden, he holded a big red foulard from the bedside table and said: "Your mouth is not able to touch niether my semen nor my saliva so I'm going to tie you to the bed's head to take precautions". And guess what... he did it!

What happened next? Of course, oral sex. He took the time to explore my erogenous zones, I mean He didn't start licking my clit immediately, he started with the area around it, wich is pretty sensitive. He licked me as if I were an ice cream cone, giving me soft licks from stem to stern, stimulating all the nerves in my genital area. He went deliciously slow, making me feel like a yummy dessert being savoured. After that, he speeded up a bit and focused on my clit to push me towards orgasm. Between noisy groans and violent spasms I reached a fabulous orgasm, which left me almost exahusted.

Few seconds later, when I wasn't full recovered from my orgasm yet, he puted a condom on (durex sensation, I love these condoms!) and he penetrated me wildly, without hesiate, hurting me but at the same time giving me the best pleasure of the world. Then, driving himself into me with short and fast thrusts, we quickly came together.

We had a shower during wich we masturbated each other and, finally, after one hour and a half of pleasure, he drove me home. It was a great evening and I'm really looking forward to our next meeting.

My lips

2005-09-09T10:33:00.000+02:00

Well, here you have my lips!

As I told you, yesterday I went to have my lip piercing done. It was absolutely painless and I love the way my lip looks now with its Labret Stud.

But all that glitters is not gold, the aftercare instructions are: The next twenty days, you shouldn't take any drugs and you should avoid your mouth contact with other person's corporal fluid (saliva, sweat, semen, flow...).

So what I'm going to do?, tell him "I want to have sex with you, but I've a new piercing. Would you mind if I just lay there and you did all the work?"

I've told him by phone that I've had my piercing done and guess what, we've met this evening. I'll have to buy some flavoured condoms because my mouth is not able to "have contact with semen"... I hate latex' but well, I'll make an effort :(

Great night

2005-09-08T21:40:00.000+02:00

At ten past eight I heard the door bell. Without a doubt it was him. Calmly I approached my eye to the peephole and I strared him for a while. I opened the door with a big smile on my face, I caressed his long, black and curly hair (I'm really crazy about his hair) and I kissed his lips.

We closed the door and stared each other: he loves my blue eyes and I can get lost into his green ones. There was no need of saying anything, both of us knew what we were looking for, so we went directly to my bed.

Not moving and barely breathing I let him kiss me. I was playing the passive role and I was really enjoying it because with him there is no need to be in charge, I mean he knows exactly what to do and, I swore you, he's the best doing it.

While my eyes were closed and I was groaning with pleasure, he started kissing my neck, my hairline and my ear, whispering "Ash, you turn me on". He removed my top and my bra and I lifted my hips to let him take my skirt out. I was in heaven. Then he grazed my left nipple with his mouth and I jerked as if I'd had an electric shock.

He continued kissing me, but downwards, placing a kiss on my stomach. By then I said "If you keep doing that I think I'm going to come". He puted the condom on, which reminded me that he's not mine anymore, but I was in heaven, so I didn't care.

He entered me, I exhaled long and clean and just for a moment, maybe only few seconds, I enjoyed my absence of agitation, until he began to drive himself into me with long and slow thrusts. Then, between whispers and moans, we came together. It was fabulous.

We were laying in my bed, recovering from our orgasms, still panting and breathless when all of a sudden he whispered "Ash I need you", playing with my nipple again. So I replied saying "You don't need me... your dick needs me". It was clear that it was my turn to play with him and I assure you that he enjoyed my tongue more than ever.

We made sex two more times until he had to left me at 3 a.m. to return to his house with his wife. I'm getting used to it, nevertheless I still miss waking up under his arms to start the day with a quick screw (is there any better way to start the day?).

P.S: I'm very tired, almost exhausted.

P.S. 2: Today I'm going to have my lip piercing done.

E-mail

2005-09-07T09:21:00.000+02:00

From Him to Ashling:
Subject: Today...
...is gonna be the day :)
xxx

From Ashling to Him:
Subjet: Wonderwall?
...that they're gonna throw it back to you. Wonderwall, by Oasis.

I know, I know, he is only trying to be affectionate towards me, but I have to seem indifferent because I don't want him to know that I'm dying to meet him tonight.

First time

2005-09-06T22:04:00.000+02:00

Yesterday I met a friend for a quick drink. She's been going out with her current boyfriend since May and last week she lost her virginity with him. She told me she was expecting to feel some pain but not as much as she felt. I have to say that I always get surprised when a girl says that her first time was painful because my first time was so sweet and so painless that I'll always remember it with a smile on my face.

I was young (now I use to think that I was too young), I was in love and, for me, he was the most handsome, smart, elegant and pleasant man on earth, and -obviously- he wasn't married by then: he was absolutely mine.

We had been going out for two wonderful years and all happened like the most natural thing on the world. We were on his sofa snogging each other when suddenly He slid his palm under my skirt and, to his (and my own) surprise I let him continue. He pulled me round to him (his love for me was stamped on his face), he stared me and with his charming voice said "Ash, are you ready?". Oh, sure I was! He holded my hand, kissed my lips and carried me to his bedroom.

Then it happened. I didn't reach an orgasm but I felt like the most beautiful girl on earth.

P.S: Tomorrow is the day! but I have huge doubts... red?, black?, light blue?... uhm... why is so hard to choose underwear's colour?.

Nipple pierced

2005-09-05T00:05:00.000+02:00

I like body art. I'm not one of these girls full covered with piercings and tattoos, in fact I just have one nose piercing and one little tattoo on my shoulder blade, but some day of this week I'm going to get another piercing done on my lip.

Well, I'm not here to explain my whole life (or am I?) so, let's going to focus on what I wanted to say: I'm thinking about have my right nipple pierced, but I have huge doubts about it, I mean I find pierced nipples really aesthetically pleasing but I'm afraid of lose sensitivity, and moreover I have a problem of shyness. Yes, stop laughing: I am very shy and I can't imagine myself taking my breast out of the bra in front of the piercer.

I've asked Him if he'd like my pierced nipple and he has told me that he'd love it. He likes piercings as well as me and he used to wear a Prince Albert until he got married (yes, he took it off when he married the bitch... uhm, sorry, his wife). I really miss his sensual piercing. I loved to play with it touching the tip of my tongue to his glans, and, I swear you that he loved too.

Wednesday

2005-09-04T16:09:00.000+02:00

We have arranged a meeting on Wednesday. He have told to his wife that he's going out with some friends to see the soccer match (Northern Ireland vs England) but I'm sure she knows that He's going to spend the whole night with me, and, to be sincere, I couldn't care less. I'm happy :)

P. S: I can twist my sister round my little finger, so she's going to sleep with a friend of her.

P. S. 2: Sorry for the post's shortness but I've got a terrible hangover :(

Smell

2005-09-03T13:46:00.000+02:00

Phone conversation few minutes ago:

-Ashling: Why are you going out with me if your wife is thinner, taller, sexier and more experienced than me?
-He: Ash, you smell soooooooo good.

He could have said Because you're beautiful (ok, it's a lie, but only a white lie), or Because I love having sex with you, or Because you turn me on... But no, he only said "I'm going out with you because of your smell".

So what the hell I'm doing buying sexy underwear, having my thing waxed and spending lots and lots of money in cosmetics if he is only with me for my smell? Shit! I never will be able to understand men!

Improving

2005-09-02T09:45:00.000+02:00

Yesterday I was so angry with him, with me and with the world that (after eating the punnet of strawberries) I ate a whole chocolate bar (is said that it's the best sex's substitute... I have my doubts about it). And yes, I shouldn't have done it (you know, chocolate always go to the bottom) but, damnit, I did. Nevertheless the fact is that it doesn't matter because at night I lost all the calories that I ingested before :)

I was laying on the sofa, reading some stuff when to my surprise the door bell rang. My first thought was "damnit! another neighbour asking for salt" but when I approached my eye to the peephole I saw his long and curly black hair... it was him! Without taking long I opened the door and I pounced on his arms. He lifted me up, kissed me passionately, closed the door and carried me to my bedroom.

It was just a quick screw (I mean without preliminaries, with no oral sex, just twenty minutes of pleasure) but less is nothing. The fact is that I'm not happy with how it's all going, I mean, I'm happy (sure I am!) to see him but no way was he to get into the habit of just dropping in for a quik bonk whenever he wanted, before heading home to his wife. I miss rolling off him and talk when we are both slick with sweat and fighting for breath still recovering from our orgasms. Well, I suppose I can't do anything against that situation.

And the worst thing of all is that today my sister is returning from her holidays. That means that I won't be able to have sex in the house until next week that she starts her school classes again. That remains to be seen, but I think that week I'm going to eat more chocolate than ever :(

Hate

2005-09-01T09:53:00.000+02:00

I hate him,
I hate him,
I hate him,
I hate him,
I hate him,
and...
I hate him.

Once again I'm alone in my home, in front of the computer, with a wanker face, eating on my own a punnet of strawberries. Amazing uh?

Him

2005-08-31T21:40:00.000+02:00

I should never started this thing with him. I could be in love with someone else right now, someone who wasn't married like him, someone younger... but the fact is that I'm not in love with him either, but our sexual attraction is huge!

I promised on my mother's grave that I wouldn't meet him anymore but I'm too weak (and, yes, he turns me on!), so tomorrow morning (even thouhg I'm still vegetarian) I'm going to taste meat ;)

Straying from the issue, I'm currently reading The other side of the story, by the Irish writter Marian Keyes and ¡Oh my God! I can't stop roaring with laughter.

I identify myself with one of its main characters: Jojo. She's a girl on her thirties (Ok, I don't identify myself with her on the age but it doesn't matter... I'm younger!) who's going out with her boss who's happily married and who's not thinking about leave his wife (uhm... it rings you a bell?). I really understand this scene:

"Jojo had just drifted back to sleep when the buzzer went. Flowers. Since she'd begun this thing with Marck she'd never got so many flowers in her life and she'd kind of gone off them; they represented broken dates, bikinni lines wich had been waxed for no reason, punnets of strawberries which she had been to eat all on her own, so many that they gave her hives"

It happens to me too often... I only hope that today my bikinni line hasn't been waxed for no reason :)

Beginning

2005-08-31T10:28:00.000+02:00

Until June 2005 I was a meat and fish eater. I have always considered myself an environmentalist but I had no idea about how food animals were raised or processed. One day, surfing the net, I found Peta2's site and I got terrified about what I saw. Animals raised for food lead miserable lives, during which they are not allowed even a shred of dignity. Chickens and turkeys are crammed into tiny cages and overcrowded warehouse floors and are bred to grow so quickly that their legs often break under their own bulk. Pigs, who are very intelligent and social animals, spend their lives in metal stalls that are so narrow that they cannot even turn around. Cows live on slabs of feces-encrusted concrete and are forced to endure freezing cold and blistering heat while being transported to slaughterhouses where they are often hacked apart, piece by piece, as they move down the line. Farmed animals are debeaked, castrated, and branded and have their tails cut off—all without painkillers. Every aspect of their lives involves intense suffering, pain, and fear. So, I didn't hesiated, since that day I'm vegetarian and, of course, I'm very proud about it.